BEER AND A 20 YEAR OLD! ANYONE??????

[coffeecups]

Dear VictoriaJ

I don't think that Sodey had made a comment. I was just commenting to some other post. It just happenned that I had a real personal interest in the subject. And like Suba-Dude echoed what I had said about Sodey, is that paarents really have to know their kids. What Sodey did or does is NOT for every parent child relationship. I just felt from what Sodey said about the alcohol and then having a one on one day on each child's 13th birthday, really made me feel that he was truly in touch with his kids.

Perhaps I went too far and got long winded, but please don't beat Sodey. In fact, I think that he has gone to other threads and has let this one die.

Yes, like you suggested in your own post, let's hold hands, say a farewell to this thread for a minute and then---- LETS GO LOOKING FOR OUR NEXT CRUISE!!

most sincerely

coffeecups

 

[VictoriaJ]

coffeecups..........When I said Sodey, I think I'm doing it again....I ment ruffling feathers...I totally agree with everything Sodey said....I never had a problem with Sodey...We were in agreement with each other...

Scuba-dude....I totally realize about alcahol and being a responsibal parent...If you read my earlier posts...my daughter is 20 and we were talking about a beer on a cruies..
Drinking & driving is a serious issure for adults and young adults alike... I can,t tell you how many adults I have seen that should not get behind the wheel of a car....If you are in law-inforcement, i'm sure you have seen your share also... I was not talking about a free for all binge drinking party...Driving had nothing to do with it....Considering my daughters friends range from 19 to 24 I'm sure their is alcahol involved many other times and she know she must stay over someones house or call us for a ride if needed...We always kept the channels open on the subject.....Temptations are always there...A RESPONSIBLE well educated kid will know how to avoid temptation..



Post Edited (07-05-04 20:30)

 

[scuba-dude]

VictoriaJ,

I was not questioning your judgement as a parent, I was simply asking parents as a whole to help their children understand the dangers. I have seen more tradgedy during my career than most people will experience in their entire life, and yes it does hurt me everytime. Simply said binge (drinking and driving) or (an ocasional beer on a cruise), this can be the basis or the starting point for experimentation. My hats off to you for communicating with your child. On my last cruise, there was two young boys that could be no more than 12 or 13 years old whose parents would buy drinks for them at any time. One of these boys got so drunk one night he passed out during dinner. When crew members confronted the parents, their reaction was "it is my child and I will do what I want". What I am saying is just be careful when it comes to children, any lost life is a tradgedy.

 

[ScottieB64]

Scuba-Dude

About time you showed up. I have been the only law enforcement officer here for quite a while and had no one else to back me up. Me and you are two people here that can understand what it is like working the jobs we do. Like my previous posts and yours state we aren't trying to pick on anyone, just trying to do our jobs and make everything a safer place for everyone.

 

[Sodey]

OK, I wasn't going to re-visit this thread,but I can't help myself.

The original thread from victoria dealt with buying her daughter (20 years old) a beer on their cruise. It was to be a supervised, shared experience between her and her daughter. Then, some respondents starting bringing up the legalities and the consequences of parents being their kids "Supplier" for alcohol on a continuing basis and booze parties and traffic fatalities and on and on.

No-one is disputing that alcohol and driving don't mix. No-one is disputing that some people have a low tolerence for alcohol and are prone to dependency.

I said that education and making alcohol this mysterious reward that you receive when you turn 21 a non issue by introducing alcohol at an earlier age where it can be a controlled experience seemed to pull every "The Law is the Law" person out of the woodwork.

I know it isn't easy being a cop and I know it's hard to tell a parent their kid is dead.
But, I believe my approach with my kids is better than relying on their friends to learn about alcohol. If the law says I can't do that, then yes, I will break the law each and every time.

I have my hands out in front of me. Come on over and slap on the cuffs, because my 15, 18, 19 and (Now 21) year old children will all have a glass of Champagne at the captains gala before our formal dinner.

I plead Guilty of all charges!

Sodey

 

[DanielR2004]

I thought I was done with this thread, too, but, on RCI those who are 18 years or older can drink beer or wine, but no hard liquor. Victoria is obviously new to CCL and didn't know to policy. SO LET'S ALL MAKE HER FEEL BAD FOR NOT KNOWING!

In mostly ALL parts of the U.S. it is also ILLEGAL to Gamble.... But it isn't on a cruise! I haven't hear anyone get technical with that!

Let's end this once and for all, and book our next cruise.

Cheers!
-Daniel

 

[scuba-dude]

THis will be my final word on this subject, if you teach your kids it is O.K. to break the law concerning underage drinking, then don't be surprised when they start to break other laws.
If you encourage them to break the law now, it will be all the easier for them to break it later. Kids grow up to fast, you do not need to speed up the process by giving a 15 year old alchol (they will do that soon enough on their own). And in response to an earlier post by Sodey, yes any D.A. in the state of Florida will prosocute for a parent providing alchol.
As a side note, we had 4 traffic related fatalities this past weekend in the county I work in. One involved two 17 year old boys who were drininking (a case of beer mom had bought for them) and driving when they decided to pass in a no passing zone. THey colided head on with another car containing a family of 5, of the 5, 3 were dead on arrival to the hospital. One of the 17 year olds leg had to be amputated and the other has paralysis from the chest down. This all because of beer a parent provided. Is it wrong for a parent to furnish alcohol, YES! By the way mom is sitting in jail at this moment while her son is lying in a hospital bed. If you want to attack me because of what I have said here go right ahead.



Post Edited (07-06-04 20:51)

 

[VictoriaJ]

My final word...................

Thank you Sodey & Daniel.......



Post Edited (07-06-04 20:18)

 

[dei6360]

I have not read every post on this subject but 1 thing that I have not seen written is teaching our children no mater what there age that sometimes there are certain rules that must be followed. I am not talking about the legal drinking age for where you come from or the way it has always been in your family, I am talking about the rules Carnival has put in place. We all must remember that we are guest on these beautiful ships and as guest there are certain rules that we are expected to follow. One of these rules is no one drinking under the age of 21. If you do or do not agree with this rule it is still the rule. What you are teaching your children is that when you are a guest you do not have to follow there rules. If you want to give your child alcohol in the comfort of your on home fine that is the rule in your house. But when on a cruise or any place where you are a guest and the drinking age is 21 would it not be better to explain to your child why the could not have a drink instead of teachning them ways to get around the rules.

 

[LUV2Cruz2]

Good post DEI. I guess some people just think that it's ok to break rules if you don't like the rule or if you think it's a silly rule...or the most ridiculous one that "rules are made to be broken"!

As soon as our children learn from us that it's ok to break rules if they don't like them we set our children on the path to thinking that "If it feels good, do it".

I don't want my children growing up into adults with that attitude.

 

[scuba-dude]

Well said dei6360 and LUV2Cruz2!



Post Edited (07-07-04 09:53)

 

[Sodey]

It just so happens that I did ask permission from the staff on the ship and they gave me permission to do what I did.

I bought a bottle of wine and asked if I could serve my kids some and they said as long as I do the pouring, it was ok with them.

I guess that shoots that theory too! But keep trying, I'm starting to enjoy it!

The problem with most of you that have a problem with this is that you aren't able to seperate what I do with someone who holds beer bashes for their kids and their friends.

 

[Fondy]

My daughter is a volunteer in our county's Teen Court program. Her last "case" involved a 16 y/o underage drinking violation. The defendent said that since her mom and dad let her drink on Holidays, vacations, etc., she didn't think that she had done anything wrong. (She was caught drinking during a lakeside festival). Her parents "couldn't believe" that she would think it was okay to drink there without them present. Guess they didn't realize the confusing message they were sending?

Now, having said that - I know there's a huge difference between a 16 y/o and a 20 y/o, but it's still a slippery slope, especially when it comes to younger teens.

While I don't like "big brother" telling me how to raise my children, I also worry about sending a message to our youth that it's okay to break the laws/rules that we don't agree with. Yes, teaching responsibility is the key, but by nature teens are prone to spontaneous, irresponsible behavior.

Underage drinking is one of those issues that I think keeps every parent up at night. Even though I trust my kid, I still lay awake waiting for the sound of her footsteps coming in just minutes before curfew!

 

[VictoriaJ]

Sodey, I was just peeking in finding it hard to resist comment...I thought you were doing the same but you weakened!!
I may wind up doing the same......Don't defend yourself...What you or I did had not a single thing in common with 3/4 of these posts..
Victoria

 

[p.g.]

Mrs.Pete, LEECHES have been brought back into medical favor and are used in hospitals.Also research has shown some benefit to having a glass of red wine, so may-be ALL the old ways of dong things weren't completely off base. Please do your research a bit better.

Scotttie, you claimed your father " kicked your %%$ "if you were out of line as a youngster. That is child abuse and AGAINST the law. Are you advocating striking a child? You are a law enforcement officer aren't you? Hmmm

I totally think this thread is hilarious. So a parent shouldn't let a 20 yr old have a beer because it is " against the law"? What law,? If the ship is in dock in Victoria the drinking age here is 19, so therefore since the ship is subject to the law of whatever port it is in, I guess they are allowed a drink here, but not a day or two later when they dock in Alaska?
Does their liver change in two days? LOL
I think the main point is diferrenating between a teen beer bash being condoned by parents and a 20 yr old having a glass of wine at dinner.
And BTW, I think abortion is murder, it used to be murder, now it's not( legally) so who is to really say who is wrong or right?
We will all NEVER agree on this thread, I commend Sodney for showing common sense, and good parenting.
And alcolholism is not CAUSED by drinking too early, if it was only that simple. If you are predisposed to alcoholism drinking at all should never START, unfortunatley it can't be predicted( yet) . I too have had alcoholism in my family ( mom, recovered , sister, recovered) but I on the other hand( and another sister, ) barely drink at all, just don't crave it. Guess we were lucky, but , I did try drinking underage, and did get drunk then, but as I said just never became a problem for me. My mom NEVER touched booze till she was in her mid twenties, so I guess the early drinking therory is bogus.

 

[dei6360]

This is copied from Carnival Website.

Are there any age restrictions on board?

Drinking Alcoholic Beverages:
Guest must be 21 years of age or older to be served alcohol on board. Proper I.D. with birth date is required.

P.Q. You asked what law ? As I stated in an eairler post we are guest and as guest are expected to follow certain rules. The rules stay the same no matter where the ship is docked, so when it is docked in Victoria you still have to be 21 to get served a drink on the ship. Now if you go into port that is different you can drink all you want.

Sodey you say you asked if it was ok to give your kids wine at dinner and were told by Carnival crew it was ok as long as you did the pouring, this seams like a gray area since the policy on Carnivals website states you must be over 21 to be SERVED alcohol, it does NOT say you have to be over 21 to Drink alcohol. My only question to you. What would you have done if the crew told you no?

I definetly do not have a problem with Drinking on a cruise it is my favorite thing to do next to eating. When we get our invoice at the end of the cruise it seems I have a never ending invoice with nothing but drinks on it. I also can not talk about underage drinking because like all my friends I was drinking way before turning 21. I also do not have a problem with parents letting there kids drink with them, as long as they are not doing it at a place where the child otherwise would not be able to drink.

 

[VictoriaJ]

OH, One more thing I can't believe I forgot to mention, My daughter bought a lottery ticket at the bingo game, (she is allowed to buy lottery tickets) and she won the consolation prize...Anyone want to guess what it was.....Champagne!!! Nobody asked her how old she was...She does look older than 20 but she still is young looking so I guess they are not overly conserned...

 

[Baystate]

VictoriaJ,

I see they pulled the other post and thanks for your comments. You are right on the money. My goodness people are extreme here. I won't bother repeating my reply here but : Even the children of Pilgrims regularly drank beer, and they were puritans for goodness sake. By the way, Sodey and Vicar I completely agree. Also most states have provisions that a parent is exempt from those laws because of traditional cultural or religious practices. Otherwise there should be a round up after Holy Communion at my parish next weekend.

 

[Baystate]

Oh and one more thing. Military men and women can drink alcohol on base at the enlisted mens club. It just doesn't make much sense to make them abstain if they leave the base.

 

[scuba-dude]

Baystate,

Most states do not have exemptions for parents as far as providing alcohol to minors. In Florida any adult (including parents) who furnishs alcohol to a minor are subject to a $500.00 fine and imprisonment not to exceed 6 months. If you are going to make a statement at least get your facts straight. Also the comment about the Pilgrims and military bases does not hold water.

1. Their were no laws prohibiting furnishing alcohol to minors in Pilgrim times.
2. Having been former military I can tell you this, a military base will follow the legal
drinking age for the state in which it is located i.e. in FLorida military bases require personel to be 21.

Why don't we just let this thread die, I am sure we all have better things to do with our energy than argue about this. I'll sum it up this way. Some people are going to break laws and rules no matter what, it is human nature. Some get caught some don't. Is it worth risking your life, reputation, job and who knows what else, I for one don't think so!



Post Edited (07-07-04 22:28)